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Seth Messenger : Woody Allen's quotes

Woody Allen said :

(Automatic translation)
Woody Allen
« In a hundred years, what would you like to say to you?-I would like to say: he's doing well for his age! »
Woody Allen

« the future is the only thing that interests me, because I intend to spend the next few years. »
Woody Allen

« I think that people should stay together all their lives, like pigeons. Or Catholics. »
Woody Allen (Manhattan)

« Love is a word that is too weak to describe what I feel for you. I you soul, I smell you, I totem, I intimate to you! »
Woody Allen (Annie Hall)

« Many other details elude me, but I was traumatized when they stopped me in Beverly Hills two months more later for attempting to marry an oyster. »
Woody Allen (Destins Tordus)

« For the man who think, death is not an end but a beginning. »
Woody Allen (Destins tordus)

« Human beings prior to infinity, although it does not yet have all the options. »
Woody Allen (Destins tordus)

« Is there in nature something really perfect, except for the stupidity of my uncle? »
Woody Allen (L’amour coupé en deux)

« Man is a creature that is predestined to exist in his time, even if it isn't here we laugh the most. »
Woody Allen (Destins tordus)

« A patient needs the greatest calm, and not a ceaseless parade of fake asses come to marvel at his good looks! »
Woody Allen (Destins tordus)

« Life has no purpose. Nothing is sustainable. Even the works of Shakespeare will disappear when the universe will disintegrate. »
Woody Allen (Destins tordus)

« Better not to think. Rest more on the body: it is more trustworthy. »
Woody Allen (Destins tordus)

« Sex between a man and a woman, it can be absolutely wonderful - provided that the man and woman suit you well. »
Woody Allen

« Sure, love is the answer. But while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises very pertinent questions. »
Woody Allen

« In summary, I would like to have a somewhat positive message to pass on. I have not... What two negative messages suit you? »
Woody Allen

« It's hard to make a movie, but for good work, it's worse! »
Woody Allen

« When I'm not working, I think, and when I think, I get depressed. »
Woody Allen

« My films are a form of psychoanalysis, except that it is me who get paid, that changes everything! »
Woody Allen

« Mistakes, I did. First, I was born. First mistake! »
Woody Allen

« The money is better than poverty, not for financial reasons. »
Woody Allen

« My dream: become the sticky of Ursula Andress. »
Woody Allen

« When you're dead and someone shouts standing in there, it's time to get up, it's hard to put on his slippers. »
Woody Allen (Destins tordus)

« Death is a State of non-existence. This is not does not exist. So death does not exist. »
Woody Allen (Destins tordus)

« How is it possible to find significance in a limited universe, given my size and my neck size turn? »
Woody Allen (Mon allocution)

« UFO: These devices are actually from another planet, then if civilization who designed must have millions of years ahead of ours. Or that these people of the pot. »
Woody Allen (Destins tordus)

« A good and honest behavior is not only moral, but can also be done by phone. »
Woody Allen (Destins tordus)

« If the saucers come from another planet, why have their drivers they not tried to contact us instead of going in circles around the desert lands? »
Woody Allen (Destins tordus)

« Everything that is good according to the parents, is not. The Sun, milk, red meat, the college. »
Woody Allen (Annie Hall - 1977)

« It is impossible to travel faster than light, and that would be stupid because we'd lose her hat on the way. »
Woody Allen (Destins tordus)

« Have faith in a divine intelligence inspires some peace. But she does not our human responsibilities free us. I have to watch my brother? »
Woody Allen (Mon allocution)

« There is a crucial difference between being and being. Belong to one or the other group is irrelevant as long as we have fun. »
Woody Allen (Destins tordus)

« God remains silent, if only we could convince the human being to do the same. »
Woody Allen (Destins tordus)

« Of course, science has taught us to pasteurize the cheese. But what about the hydrogen bomb? »
Woody Allen (Mon allocution)

« Ah, God, as the mind may hesitate as soon as it is concerned with moral or ethical considerations. »
Woody Allen (Destins tordus)

« Never find all the qualities you are looking for in one member of the opposite sex! On the one hand, the abyss yawning of the compromise. On the other hand, the supercharged and reprehensible unfaithful human existence. »
Woody Allen (L’Amour coupé en deux)

« Life is a small, bad and expensive restaurant. Besides, it's too short. »
Woody Allen (Annie Hall)

« I hate reality but it's still the only place where to be served a steak. »
Woody Allen (Destins tordus)

« Hollywood? This is a factory where they make seventeen films on an idea that is not worth a short film. »
Woody Allen

« I had to be shot this morning at six o'clock. But as I had a good lawyer, the peloton will happen only at six-thirty. »
Woody Allen

« Better to realize his wish that wish to have it done. »
Woody Allen

« If a man was immortal, do you realize what would be his mark butcher? »
Woody Allen

« Why bother to Cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen. »
Woody Allen

« Why man kills? He kills for food. And not only that: often he's thirsty too. »
Woody Allen (Without Feathers)

« Why our days numbered and not, say... added up. »
Woody Allen

« When the sword is in your throat, what happens in the case of hiccups? »
Woody Allen

« It is difficult to live its own life, and at the same time, just sing. »
Woody Allen

« It seems that the world is divided between really good and bad: the good and the bad. The good sleep better... but guys enjoy much more of their waking hours. »
Woody Allen (Destins tordus)

« The lion and the calf should lie side by side, but the calf would sleep a lot. »
Woody Allen

« In Los Angeles, they don't throw their garbage. They make for television variety shows. »
Woody Allen

« Still obsessed with the idea of death, I meditate constantly. I constantly wonder if there is a later life and, if there is one, can we get the currency of twenty dollars? »
Woody Allen

« Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television. »
Woody Allen (Maris et femmes)

« Everyone must find his solution. »
Woody Allen (Maris et femmes)

« As long as you haven't been kissed by one of those rainy afternoons Parisians, you have never been kissed. »
Woody Allen (Maris et femmes)

« Eighty percent of success is to be seen. »
Woody Allen

« The man exploits man and sometimes it's the opposite. »
Woody Allen

« Die is one of the few things that can be done both lying and standing. »
Woody Allen

« If I do so much love, it's that I had long trained alone. »
Woody Allen

« The show is a world of wolves. It's worse than a world of wolves. It's a world where wolves don't remind you on the phone. »
Woody Allen (Crimes et délits)

« The mouse is an animal who killed in sufficient quantity and in controlled conditions, produces a doctoral thesis. »
Woody Allen

« Without joy, no misfortune. »
Woody Allen

« It's not that I really am afraid to die, but I prefer not to be there when it happens. »
Woody Allen (Without Feathers)

« Women say I'm a bad shot. These are really bad language, how can they say that in 2 minutes? »
Woody Allen

« Life is divided into two categories: horror and misfortune. »
Woody Allen (Annie Hall)

« -Sex without love is an empty experience - Yes, but among empty experiences, it is one of the best! »
Woody Allen (Guerre et amour)

« The universe is never only a fleeting idea in the mind of God - thinking beautifully disturbing, as long as you just bought a House on credit. »
Woody Allen (Ma Philosophie)

« I have questions to your answers. »
Woody Allen

« Live Centennial, would give up all the things that make you want to live centenary. »
Woody Allen

« Humanity is at a crossroads: one path leads to despair, the other to total extinction. Hope we have the wisdom to know how to choose. »
Woody Allen

« The celebrity has given me a big advantage: women who say no to me are more beautiful than in the past. »
Woody Allen

« Artificial intelligence is defined as the opposite of natural stupidity. »
Woody Allen

« I met isosceles. He has an idea for a new triangle. »
Woody Allen (Destins Tordus)

« If God exists, I hope he has a good excuse. »
Woody Allen

« My parents had lived forty years together, but by pure animosity. »
Woody Allen (L’amour coupé en deux)

« Money is better than poverty, not for financial issues. »
Woody Allen (Dieu, Shakespeare et moi)

« Unfortunately, our politicians are either incompetent or corrupt. Sometimes both at the same time, the same day. »
Woody Allen (Mon allocution)

« -Do you analyze? - Oh, fifteen years. Another year, and after I try Lourdes. »
Woody Allen (Annie Hall)

« The man does not have his own misfortune, and if we suffer, it is by God's will, although I can't seem to understand why he feels obliged to so recover. »
Woody Allen (Pour en finir une bonne fois pour toute avec la culture)

« Not only there is no God but it is impossible to find a plumber on Sunday. »
Woody Allen

« I'd like to finish on a message of hope. I don't have one. In Exchange, what are two messages of despair would go you? »
Woody Allen

« Love is a kind of deadline for loneliness. »
Woody Allen (Maris et femmes)

« The trouble is like toilet paper, go, it comes ten. »
Woody Allen

« The future contains great opportunities. It also reveals traps. The problem will be to avoid the pitfalls, seize opportunities and go home for six hours. »
Woody Allen (Destins tordus)

« As long as the man is mortal, he will never be casual. »
Woody Allen

« The bed is a training ground for the coffin. »
Woody Allen

« We never saw a blind man in a nudist camp. »
Woody Allen

« I wanted to be a spy, but he had to swallow microfilm and my doctor told me. »
Woody Allen

« For my part, I am heterosexual. But admittedly, the bisexual is twice as likely Saturday night. »
Woody Allen

« The answer is Yes. But what was the question? »
Woody Allen

« Most of the time, I'm not laughing a lot. And the rest of the time I'm not kidding. »
Woody Allen

« It is not so bad reincarnation if I could relive like sponge! »
Woody Allen

« At home, we ate at the map. Pulling the ACE of Spades eats... »
Woody Allen

« We live a much too permissive society. Never again pornography was spread with a such shamelessness. And increasingly, movies are blurry! »
Woody Allen (Mon Allocution)

« In your professional ascension, are still very nice for those that you exceed in amount. You will find them in the same place on the way down. »
Woody Allen

« When I listen to Wagner too, I want to invade the Poland. »
Woody Allen (Meurtre mystérieux à Manhattan)

« A dangerous driver, it is one that is beyond you despite your best efforts to prevent... »
Woody Allen

« His kisses were inadequate... his whole body. »
Woody Allen

« According to modern astronomers, space is limited. This is a very comforting thought, especially for people who don't ever remember where they put things. »
Woody Allen (Destins tordus)

« The only way to be happy is to love suffer. »
Woody Allen

« I was expelled from school for cheating during a review of metaphysics; I was reading in the thoughts of my neighbor. »
Woody Allen

« Hey! Don't make fun of masturbation! It's sex with someone you love... »
Woody Allen (Annie Hall)

« If only God would give me a sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss Bank. »
Woody Allen (New Yorker - Novembre 1973)

« The first time I saw a naked woman, I thought it was a mistake. »
Woody Allen

« I took a speed reading course and I have read war and peace in twenty minutes. It's about the Russia. »
Woody Allen

« Is it good to know cannot be understood with the mind. »
Woody Allen

« Is sex dirty? Only when it is done well. »
Woody Allen

« Sex calms down tensions. Love causes them. »
Woody Allen

« The advantage of being smart, is that you can always do the jerk, while the opposite is totally impossible. »
Woody Allen

« We hesitated a moment between a divorce or a holiday. We thought a vacation in Bermuda, it's over in two weeks so that a divorce, it lasts lifetime. »
Woody Allen

« I prefer cremation the funeral and the two to a weekend with my wife. »
Woody Allen (Destins tordus)

« I really care about my watch, my grandfather, who sold it to me on his death bed. »
Woody Allen

« Eternity is a long, especially towards the end. »
Woody Allen

« The difference between sex and death, it's that die, you can do it alone, and no one will laugh at you. »
Woody Allen (New York Herald Tribune - 1975)

« And if everything was illusion and that nothing existed? In this case, I would have really paid my carpet too much. »
Woody Allen

« I do not believe in the afterlife but I'll still take spare underwear. »
Woody Allen

« Crime pays. We do a lot of hours and we travel a lot. »
Woody Allen (Prends l'oseille et tire-toi)

« A word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to sleep with me and she said no. »
Woody Allen (Woody Allen : Clown Prince of American Humor)

« Sex between two people, it's beautiful. Between five people, it's fantastic... »
Woody Allen

« I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve immortality by not dying. »
Woody Allen (Woody Allen and his Comedy (Edward Lax))

« My brain? It is my second favorite organ. »
Woody Allen (Sleeper)

« I'm amazed at the number of people who want to know the universe while it is already hard enough to find in Chinatown in New York. »
Woody Allen

« Marriage is the death of hope. »
Woody Allen

« I don't eat oysters. I want my food to be dead. Sick or injured... dead. »
Woody Allen

« When I was kidnapped, my parents acted immediately: they rented my room. »
Woody Allen

« A Hitchhiker is a young woman, usually pretty and short dressed, which is located on your road when you're with your wife. »
Woody Allen

« The last time that I entered a woman was visiting the statue of liberty. »
Woody Allen

« I asked this girl if she had any plans for Saturday night, and she told me that she intended to commit suicide. So I asked her what she planned to do on Friday night. »
Woody Allen

Want to know more about Woody Allen ? Then you should probably take a look over here..

The content of this page was last u p d a t ed on Sunday June 13, 2021.
It was then 15:45:27 (Paris time, France, planet Earth - Known Universe).
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