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Seth Messenger : Melanie Klein's quotes

Melanie Klein said :

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Melanie Klein
(Quotes)
#40880
« In their flight, one can observe an interaction of the impulses of love and hatred. Rejection can even be a way of loving, distorted indeed, but whose purpose is the preservation of something unconsciously felt as "too good for me". Abandonment then "saves" the state of goodness thus recognized, does not harm it and shelters it (from our own indignity that could destroy it). »
Melanie Klein (Love and Hate)


#40881
« If deep in our unconscious we have become able to erase to some extent the grievances felt against our parents, then we can be at peace with ourselves and love others in the true sense of the word. »
Melanie Klein (Love and Hate)


#40882
« [...] many people only really feel happy and satisfied with those who are inferior to them in some way, perhaps intellectually, socially, or even morally. These inferiors are the ones they really need and depend on in life. These people, who need to match with inferiors, are naturally the opposite of snobs, but basically these two types of individuals seek the same in a different way. Both need reassurance, they need to be assured that they are neither poor, miserable nor empty, that they are worthy of esteem and love. »
Melanie Klein (Love and Hate)


#40883
« Splitting a good thing into several pieces reduces the danger of frustration, deprivation, and the risk that our own greed or cruelty will destroy and ruin the good thing or loved one to whom we value. »
Melanie Klein (Love and Hate)


#40884
« In everyday life, the simplest example of projection is the you too. If someone attributes something unpleasant to us, we often instantly assume that this thing is actually in them. »
Melanie Klein (Love and Hate)


#40885
« In this book, we will study some aspects of the emotional lives of men and women who are part of civilized communities, aspects of which are well known to all of us on a daily basis. These emotional manifestations have two fundamental sources; these are the two great primitive instincts of man: hunger and love; in other words, the instinct to preserve and the sexual instinct. Our life is essentially at the service of a dual objective: to secure the livelihood and, at the same time, to derive pleasure from this existence. We all know that these goals generate deep emotions and can cause great happiness or misfortune. »
Melanie Klein (Love and Hate)


#40886
« By fleeing a good thing, which has become more or less bad in our eyes, we preserve - in spirit - an image of what was good, which had almost been lost. And, discovering it elsewhere, it's as if we are bringing it back to another place. »
Melanie Klein (Love and Hate)


#40887
« Take, for example, the occupations of a housewitness: it is certain that cleaning, etc., testifies to her desire to make things pleasant both for others and for her; it is therefore a manifestation of love for others and the things to which she cares. Nevertheless, by the destruction of the enemy: the dust, which in her unconscious represents the "bad" things, the hostess expresses at the same time her aggressiveness. Original hatred and aggression, derived from the oldest sources, can break through in women whose cleanliness becomes obsessive. We all know this type of woman who makes her family members unhappy by continually "tidying up"; here, hatred is actually directed against the people it loves and cares for. »
Melanie Klein (Love and Hate)


#40888
« The practice of play, by promoting the expression of the child's fantasy life, highlights the early stages of psychic life. »
Melanie Klein (The Oedipus Complex)


#40889
« To what extent, compared to love or sexual desire, does this need to be reassured about one's own worth play an important role in the decision of men and women to marry? »
Melanie Klein (Love and Hate)


#40890
« Once we see evil in another person, it becomes possible, and it may seem necessary, to release the pent-up aggression felt against that person; hence the important role that the condemnation of others and, in general, criticism, denunciation and intolerance play in life. What we cannot tolerate in ourselves, we are not prepared to tolerate in others. By condemning others, we can also find double satisfaction, directly free from our aggressive tendencies, and also by feeling reassured because we conform to the standards of what is good and perfect and observe them. »
Melanie Klein (Love and Hate)


#40891
« Those who seek to get a lot from others rarely give much to others. »
Melanie Klein (Love and Hate)


#40892
« These people spend their lives searching, finding and then being disappointed because, either in quality or in intensity, their desires are disproportionate and unachievable. In the end, they only turn away, despise and reject only to immediately start looking for »
Melanie Klein (Love and Hate)


#40893
« To some extent, the baby becomes aware of his addiction, he discovers that he cannot satisfy all his own desires; he cries and shouts; it becomes aggressive. [...] This experience allows her an awareness of love (in the form of desire) and a recognition of dependence (in the form of need) at the same time as it is accompanied, inextricably linked to it, feelings and irresistible sensations of pain and the threat of destruction inside and outside. The world of the baby escapes its action; in this world of his have occurred a strike, an earthquake, all because he loves and desires, that such love can bring pain and ruin. Yet he cannot control or extise his desire, hatred, or efforts to grasp and obtain; this whole crisis destroys his well-being. »
Melanie Klein (Love and Hate)


#40894
« When the mechanism of projection becomes too important and the anguish and distrust of others that result from it become too intense, the dependence on marriage will give rise to bouts of fear and hatred that will destroy any possibility of a state of love pleasure and bring back into the vicious circle of the desire for possession. frustration and disintegration. »
Melanie Klein (Love and Hate)


#40895
« When someone unconsciously feels that he lacks love and kindness and fears that this defect will be discovered by the loving partner or hurt him, then he begins to be jealous and to seek in the other a lack of love so as not to see this defect in himself, in order to see evil in a rival instead of seeing it in him. »
Melanie Klein (Love and Hate)


#40896
« If the self is able to repair the lost object, then it can engage in a creative work that contains pain and mourning work for the benefit of the birth of the symbol. I believe that this object, assimilated, becomes a symbol within the self. »
Melanie Klein (Envy and gratitude and other essays)


#40897
« In a personality that has evolved in a truly successful way, a certain amount of love remains available to parents; to this love is added the love of others and the love of things. However, and I have emphasized this point, it is not a mere extension of love, but a diffusion of feelings that diminishes the weight of conflict and guilt of the child related to his attachment to the first loved ones and his dependence on them. »
Melanie Klein (Love and Hate)


#40898
« Feelings of resentment and injustice - the idea that no one helps me - also develop as a projection on others of the unconscious knowledge of our own laziness and our vileness. »
Melanie Klein (Love and Hate)


#40899
« The authors of these presentations have traced many elements of adult life into infancy. On the other hand, they show us that, in adults, many traits establish the persistence of primitive ways of thinking. This back-and-forth from child to adult and from adult to child is inherent in the subject and, at first glance, can be disconcerting. The fact is that the adult's unconscious does not differ so much from the child's mind. Therefore, while distinguishing between the personality and way of thinking of an adult and those of a child, it must be recognized that, in a way, psychoanalysts attribute to adults a childish way of thinking. »
Melanie Klein (Love and Hate)


#40900
« The sculptor who puts life into his art objects, whether or not they represent a person, subconsciously restores and recreates the people once loved, whom he destroyed in fantasy. »
Melanie Klein (Love and Hate)


#40901
« The realization of desire is not a matter of objective realities. It depends on our power to satisfy ourselves and our right to satisfaction, that is, the freedom to implement the relational acts of our body. The objective realities invoked as objects of lack and lust — usually inaccessible — are all traps set at the cure to mask (and thus to maintain) the inhibitions associated with these acts, traps that — how often! — will hold the desire prisoner for life. »
Melanie Klein (Psychoanalysis tests 1921-1945)


#40902
« When the baby feels that his destructive impulses and fantasies are directed towards the total person of his beloved object, guilt appears in all his strength and, with it, the need, impossible to satisfy, to repair, preserve, to revive the beloved object "damaged". »
Melanie Klein (Developments in psychoanalysis)


#40903
« It was Ferenczi who introduced me to psychoanalysis, taught me its true nature and meaning. He was endowed with an immediate and profound sensitivity to the unconscious and symbolism, an astonishing intuition for all that touches the childlike soul; he helped me, through his example that marked me, to understand the psychology of the young child. It was again he who signalled to me my skills for the analysis of children, whose progress interested him to the utmost, and who encouraged me to devote myself to this field, still so little explored at the time, of psychoanalytic therapeutics. »
Melanie Klein (Children's psychoanalysis)


#40904
« What we hate about ourselves are the harsh and harsh images that are also part of our inner world and which are to a large extent the consequence of our own aggression towards our parents. But, basically, our most violent hatred is directed against hatred within us. We fear this hatred so much that we are driven to use one of our most violent defence mechanisms, projection, by moving it over other people. »
Melanie Klein (Love and Hate)


#40905
« [...] if the child is not happy enough at the beginning of his life, his ability to hope, to love, to trust will be disrupted. But it does not follow that the ability to love and be happy that develops in the child is in direct proportion to the love given to him. In fact, there are children who, in their unconscious, form very harsh and severe parental images, which disrupts the relationship with the actual parents and others in general, even if the parents have been good and loving towards them. »
Melanie Klein (Love and Hate)


#40906
« New friendships prove to the child that he is capable of loving and being loved, that love and goodness exist, which is unconsciously felt as proof that he can repair the harm he has done to others in imagination or in fact. Thus, new friendships help to resolve older emotional difficulties without the person being aware of the exact nature of these early disorders or how they are being resolved. »
Melanie Klein (Love and Hate)


#40907
« In the complicated process of forming a friendship or romantic relationship, many factors play a role alongside the raw influences. Normal adult relationships always contain new elements that derive from the new situation, that is, the circumstances and personality of the people with whom we come into contact, as well as their response to our emotional needs and our practical interests of great people. »
Melanie Klein (Love and Hate)


#40908
« The different forms and manifestations of infidelity (which results from the most diverse paths of development and which, in some, expresses love, in others, hatred, all intermediate degrees being possible) all have a common factor: the fact of turning away repeatedly from a person (loved), caused in part by the fear of dependence. I found that the typical Don Juan is, in the depths of his mind, haunted by the fear of seeing loved ones die and that this fear would pierce and express itself in depressive feelings and great mental suffering if Don Juan had not just formed a special defense against these feelings and sufferings: his infidelity. »
Melanie Klein (Love and Hate)


#40909
« The unconscious of children very often corresponds to the mother's unconscious; whether or not they use this provision of love for them, they often withdraw, from knowing that this love exists, greater security and comfort. »
Melanie Klein (Love and Hate)


#40910
« We all know that if we detect in ourselves impulses of hatred towards someone we love, we feel anxious or guilty. As Coleridge puts it: ... it is to be as crazy to be angry at the beloved. »
Melanie Klein (Love and Hate)


#40911
« I have already said that hatred can be used to dismiss or conceal desire or love. Here, in particularly gregarious and "well-regarded" people, it is love that is used to ward off hatred and its dangers. [...] having friends and being loved proves to them that they themselves are good, that is, what is dangerous in them does not exist or has been safely eliminated. »
Melanie Klein (Love and Hate)


#40912
« It goes without saying that an attack, or an attempt to steal or harm and thus cause harm, will create aggressive feelings in any normal person and in most animals. Apart from the attack from the outside, however, there is another source to this feeling of frustration and pain. In us, an unfulfilled desire can, if it is intense enough, create that same feeling and pain and awaken aggression, in exactly the same way as an attack would. »
Melanie Klein (Love and Hate)


#40913
« I have tried to make it clear that the part of us we cherish and the wealth that we have accumulated because the play of our relationships with other people because these relationships and the feelings associated with them have become an inner good. »
Melanie Klein (Love and Hate)


#40914
« If it were possible that some of our past relationships and the memories associated with them suddenly fade from our lives, as we would feel impoverished and empty! The love, trust, satisfaction, comfort, gratitude, which we have experienced or given, would be largely lost! Many of us would not even wish we had not experienced some painful experiences because they too contributed to the enrichment of our personality. »
Melanie Klein (Love and Hate)


#40915
« When we become able to accept both the inevitability and potential importance of these inner mechanisms, the archaic element of our fear of them diminishes and our reactions can be controlled. We can then find ways to allow these natural forces to escape in part for as much constructive use as possible. This can only be done through understanding, which itself derives for many from tolerance, in other words, imagination, sympathy and love. »
Melanie Klein (Love and Hate)


#40916
« When a little girl has come to unconsciously fear the destructive impulses inside her in such an intense way that she doubts that she will ever be able to generate anything other than altered and dirty materials (like bad faeces), when she feels that even if she could safely hold a baby seed (without guilt, without harming a brother , or to her father and mother, without stealing them), the baby would surely die because her own interior is so full of evil things, when she feels all this, she turns away with terror from this aspect of life and a masculine side develops in her. »
Melanie Klein (Love and Hate)


#40917
« Having succeeded in our minds in locating the danger outside us and concentrating it, we then proceed to a second projective maneuver, which consists of unloading the aggressive impulses within us in the form of an attack against this external danger: the first aggressiveness that constitutes a danger is expelled and located elsewhere as a bad thing; then, the object invested with danger becomes the goal towards which to unload the aggression that later forms. »
Melanie Klein (Love and Hate)


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The content of this page was last u p d a t ed on Friday May 14, 2021.
It was then 20:46:33 (Paris time, France, planet Earth - Known Universe).
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