Seth Messenger : Laurent Ruquier's quotes

Laurent Ruquier said :

(Automatic translation)
Laurent Ruquier
(Quotes)
#30493
According experts, the Earth is warming... Finally something for the homeless!

Laurent Ruquier
(Il faut savoir changer de certitudes)


#30494
Strike at the Arc de Triomphe: the unknown soldier wants to replace her stove by an electric heater.

Laurent Ruquier
(Il faut savoir changer de certitudes)


#30495
I kept the evidence to show that I have always paid my taxes: look, I kept the checks!

Laurent Ruquier
(Il faut savoir changer de certitudes)


#30496
There will be also of doping in rugby: before the infusion, the ball was round.

Laurent Ruquier
(Il faut savoir changer de certitudes)


#30497
What is nice the first day of Roland Garros, it's that all the French are still competing.

Laurent Ruquier
(Vu à la radio)


#30498
Teachers strike: 30% of absent teachers according to the Department, 60% according to the unions and 100% according to what students have said to the parents!

Laurent Ruquier
(Il faut savoir changer de certitudes)


#30499
With everything that told us about the meat, to continue to eat today, should really be butcher!

Laurent Ruquier
(Vu à la radio)


#30500
Some people are calling for a thirteenth month of unemployment!

Laurent Ruquier
(Il faut savoir changer de certitudes)


#30501
Soon, the only thing we can eat in the cow, it's the Bell, because there is iron in there!

Laurent Ruquier
(Vu à la radio)


#30502
It seems that the DNA tests will confuse the murderer; It's not confusing it should be! It is to be sure that it's him!

Laurent Ruquier
(Je ne vais pas me gêner)


#30503
57 percent of the French are against the use of mobile phones in public places; If we can't use it at home, it is used to have invented nothing!

Laurent Ruquier
(Il faut savoir changer de certitudes)


#30504
At PSG, who moves the most on the team, it's Luis Fernandez. The problem is that it is on the edge of the field.

Laurent Ruquier
(Source inconnue)


#30505
The palais des Festivals in Cannes, it is a place where we applaud the toilet before going to get bored.

Laurent Ruquier
("Je ne vais pas me gêner", 2000)


#30506
If we can now guarantee the filiation between parents and children, nothing from the saliva, the expression that is her spitting image has never had as much sense!

Laurent Ruquier
(Vu à la radio)


#30507
The main claim of conveyors, is that they want more money. They don't have that to use, they are the ones that carry!

Laurent Ruquier
(Vu à la radio)


#30508
Formula 1, I'm not; I live near the device, I see it every day...

Laurent Ruquier
(Vu à la radio)


#30509
The difference between a beer and a Hunter, is that beer, they do without alcohol...

Laurent Ruquier
(Vu à la radio)


#30510
-What is because warming policies are to finish in the shade?

Laurent Ruquier
(Vu à la radio)


#30511
Monaco, it's a little Switzerland-sea...

Laurent Ruquier
(Vu à la radio)


#30512
The basketball is well; because, given the State of the food currently, I do not see what we have on the other as a ball in a basket.

Laurent Ruquier
(Je ne vais pas me gêner)


#30513
For the large undisturbed, it is as for heavy smokers, one solution to call or smoke less: the stamp.

Laurent Ruquier
(Vu à la radio)


#30514
To revive interest in the formula 1 competition, we should make them drink before!

Laurent Ruquier
(Vu à la radio)


#30515
The cops in school: it was time, it's going to make them good, some really needed...

Laurent Ruquier
(Vu à la radio)


#30516
Me, I want to support the Greens, but on one condition: that the little birds shit more on my car...

Laurent Ruquier
(Vu à la radio)


#30517
When networks are saturated, call, it's really the fishing line.

Laurent Ruquier
(Vu à la radio)


#30518
At the Olympics, swimmers are going so fast in the pools, is to wonder if they really like water...

Laurent Ruquier
(Vu à la radio)


#30519
Sunday, it was the day of the skates. I didn't: I'm not on the campaign trail!

Laurent Ruquier
(Vu à la radio)


#30520
I'm not for the legalization of cannabis. As I can easily find...

Laurent Ruquier
(Vu à la radio)


#30521
The Corsican language is taught in all schools in France, when the teacher says, for example: keep quiet!

Laurent Ruquier
(Je ne vais pas me gêner)


#30522
With all the crap there is in the diet, fortunately still us drinking to forget to eat.

Laurent Ruquier
(Je ne vais pas me gêner)


#30523
The Corsicans are not fast and yet they keep saying: and make it snappy!

Laurent Ruquier
(Je ne vais pas me gêner)


#30524
Brittany waters are not the hottest, but from there to heat oil them regularly!

Laurent Ruquier
(Je ne vais pas me gêner)


#30525
Justice reform: remember that every man is presumed innocent until he is declared elected.

Laurent Ruquier
(Je ne vais pas me gêner)


#30526
Politicians, it's like the rillettes, there should be a date limit of sale!

Laurent Ruquier
(Je ne vais pas me gêner)


#30527
For the November 11 ceremonies, it rains all the time... we should do this in the month of August.

Laurent Ruquier
(Je ne vais pas me gêner)


#30528
When oil companies fold in half, the Britons stand side.

Laurent Ruquier
(Je ne vais pas me gêner)


#30529
A mobile phone out of ten is stolen in the year: the attackers are usually motiveless.

Laurent Ruquier
(Je ne vais pas me gêner)


#30530
The only Japanese word I know, that's coach.

Laurent Ruquier
(Je ne vais pas me gêner)


#30531
The advantage with the hunters, is that, normally, over the years, they will be less numerous because they kill each other every weekend.

Laurent Ruquier
(Je ne vais pas me gêner)


#30532
The eve of the feast of the Secretaries, there must be many bosses who said to them: Nicole, tomorrow you will think buy you a bouquet of flowers.

Laurent Ruquier
(Je ne vais pas me gêner)


#30533
The pitbull is a dog with which we don't have time to send the ball to tell him back arm to Daddy!

Laurent Ruquier
(Je ne vais pas me gêner)


#30534
Soon repaid Viagra? It's normal, must pay back what was paid.

Laurent Ruquier
(Vu à la radio)


#30535
Since we contribute for longer and we don't want to not retire later, should be reformed the years by 12 to 15 months...

Laurent Ruquier
(Vu à la radio)


#30536
Sometimes a working lunch turns into real working lunch.

Laurent Ruquier
(Le tout bon)


#30537
When you have a dirty car, it's hard to go on his own.

Laurent Ruquier
(Le tout bon)


#30538
When a jockey is entitled to a bit of chantilly, is that it's the Racecourse.

Laurent Ruquier
(Le Tout bon)


#30539
The problem with dance classes is that you gotta go at peak hours.

Laurent Ruquier
(Le tout bon)


#30540
When you give the Goncourt to a writer, is it obligated to read?

Laurent Ruquier
(Le tout bon)


#30541
Do not get out without a condom... and even less enter...

Laurent Ruquier
(Le tout bon)


#30542
In theaters, the ushers have a flashlight, if only to check the amount of your tip.

Laurent Ruquier
(Le Tout Bon)


#30543
Every man is presumed innocent until he is elected.

Laurent Ruquier
(Le tout bon)


#30544
Fundamentalism: the scarf is a problem in silk.

Laurent Ruquier
(Le tout bon)


#30545
TV stations prefer to program the dead comedians because they are sure that they will say.

Laurent Ruquier
(Le Tout bon)


#30546
Abortion, I'm neither for nor against. I say we leave the choice to the child...

Laurent Ruquier
(Je ne vais pas me gêner)


#30547
Most motorists who phone while driving became very motorists wireless...

Laurent Ruquier
(Je ne vais pas me gêner)


#30548
The celebration of music, is the party of people who don't care anything the next day!

Laurent Ruquier
(Je ne vais pas me gêner)


#30549
Monaco, gangsters do not rob banks; they belong to them...

Laurent Ruquier
(Je ne vais pas me gêner)


#30550
Public transport, is good; except that at peak hours you feel to dance a slow dance with eighty people at the same time!

Laurent Ruquier
(Je ne vais pas me gêner)


#30551
The administration will now two months to answer the mail of users: officials chose June and November!

Laurent Ruquier
(Le mois par moi)


#30552
It said that the Corsicans are lazy; That's not true... They are quickly slaughtered, that's all!

Laurent Ruquier
(Il faut savoir changer de certitudes)


#30553
Now we can be a Senator or a member of eighteen years, and therefore, indicted at nineteen.

Laurent Ruquier
(Il faut savoir changer de certitudes)


#30554
Retirement at 55: If we grant to all the french the same as drivers, we'll all end up with a calendar of naked chicks.

Laurent Ruquier
(Le Mois par moi)


#30555
If one is obliged to clone sheep, it is because there is more enough of legionaries.

Laurent Ruquier
(Le mois par moi)


#30556
TV: the time where the ghosts were waving their chains has been replaced by the time where these are the channels that stir their ghosts.

Laurent Ruquier
(Le Mois par moi)


#30557
Reduction of working time: for the 35 hours by the year 2000, reassure everyone, it is thirty-five hours per week. This isn't only 35 hours by the year 2000.

Laurent Ruquier
(Le mois par moi)


#30558
Cloning that's stupid, let do nature: if it does not vacuum under the bed, sheep breed alone!

Laurent Ruquier
(Le Mois par moi)


#30559
The Assize Court reform provides for the possibility to be sworn at 18: there is no age to start having some trouble!

Laurent Ruquier
(Le mois par moi)


#30560
A European Summit in the Netherlands, gives you the level...

Laurent Ruquier
(Le mois par moi)


#30561
The difference between F1 and cycling, is that you can win a Grand Prix with a dysentery, but it will never win the Paris-Roubaix with hemorrhoids!

Laurent Ruquier
(Le mois par moi)


#30562
A sixty-three year old mother nursing her child. Which is convenient, it is when he cries too much, she drops her hearing aid!

Laurent Ruquier
(Le Mois par moi)


#30563
The boy bands have their shirt open so we can see their chocolate bar and stretch pants so we can see the nuts!

Laurent Ruquier
(Le Mois par moi)


#30564
There are fewer Ministers than before and, besides, they are followers of the 35-hour week... I wonder how they're going to get everything done!

Laurent Ruquier
(Le mois par moi)


#30565
The researcher who developed the sheep clones is finally asleep.

Laurent Ruquier
(Le mois par moi)


Want to know more about Laurent Ruquier ? Then you should probably take a look over here..
The content of this page was last u p d a t ed on Saturday January 7, 2023.
It was then 17:14:56 (Paris time, France, planet Earth - Known Universe).
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