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Seth Messenger : Laurent Ruquier's quotes

Laurent Ruquier said :

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Laurent Ruquier
(Quotes)
#30493
« According experts, the Earth is warming... Finally something for the homeless! »
Laurent Ruquier (Il faut savoir changer de certitudes)


#30494
« Strike at the Arc de Triomphe: the unknown soldier wants to replace her stove by an electric heater. »
Laurent Ruquier (Il faut savoir changer de certitudes)


#30495
« I kept the evidence to show that I have always paid my taxes: look, I kept the checks! »
Laurent Ruquier (Il faut savoir changer de certitudes)


#30496
« There will be also of doping in rugby: before the infusion, the ball was round. »
Laurent Ruquier (Il faut savoir changer de certitudes)


#30497
« What is nice the first day of Roland Garros, it's that all the French are still competing. »
Laurent Ruquier (Vu à la radio)


#30498
« Teachers strike: 30% of absent teachers according to the Department, 60% according to the unions and 100% according to what students have said to the parents! »
Laurent Ruquier (Il faut savoir changer de certitudes)


#30499
« With everything that told us about the meat, to continue to eat today, should really be butcher! »
Laurent Ruquier (Vu à la radio)


#30500
« Some people are calling for a thirteenth month of unemployment! »
Laurent Ruquier (Il faut savoir changer de certitudes)


#30501
« Soon, the only thing we can eat in the cow, it's the Bell, because there is iron in there! »
Laurent Ruquier (Vu à la radio)


#30502
« It seems that the DNA tests will confuse the murderer; It's not confusing it should be! It is to be sure that it's him! »
Laurent Ruquier (Je ne vais pas me gêner)


#30503
« 57 percent of the French are against the use of mobile phones in public places; If we can't use it at home, it is used to have invented nothing! »
Laurent Ruquier (Il faut savoir changer de certitudes)


#30504
« At PSG, who moves the most on the team, it's Luis Fernandez. The problem is that it is on the edge of the field. »
Laurent Ruquier


#30505
« The palais des Festivals in Cannes, it is a place where we applaud the toilet before going to get bored. »
Laurent Ruquier ("Je ne vais pas me gêner", 2000)


#30506
« If we can now guarantee the filiation between parents and children, nothing from the saliva, the expression that is her spitting image has never had as much sense! »
Laurent Ruquier (Vu à la radio)


#30507
« The main claim of conveyors, is that they want more money. They don't have that to use, they are the ones that carry! »
Laurent Ruquier (Vu à la radio)


#30508
« Formula 1, I'm not; I live near the device, I see it every day... »
Laurent Ruquier (Vu à la radio)


#30509
« The difference between a beer and a Hunter, is that beer, they do without alcohol... »
Laurent Ruquier (Vu à la radio)


#30510
« -What is because warming policies are to finish in the shade? »
Laurent Ruquier (Vu à la radio)


#30511
« Monaco, it's a little Switzerland-sea... »
Laurent Ruquier (Vu à la radio)


#30512
« The basketball is well; because, given the State of the food currently, I do not see what we have on the other as a ball in a basket. »
Laurent Ruquier (Je ne vais pas me gêner)


#30513
« For the large undisturbed, it is as for heavy smokers, one solution to call or smoke less: the stamp. »
Laurent Ruquier (Vu à la radio)


#30514
« To revive interest in the formula 1 competition, we should make them drink before! »
Laurent Ruquier (Vu à la radio)


#30515
« The cops in school: it was time, it's going to make them good, some really needed... »
Laurent Ruquier (Vu à la radio)


#30516
« Me, I want to support the Greens, but on one condition: that the little birds shit more on my car... »
Laurent Ruquier (Vu à la radio)


#30517
« When networks are saturated, call, it's really the fishing line. »
Laurent Ruquier (Vu à la radio)


#30518
« At the Olympics, swimmers are going so fast in the pools, is to wonder if they really like water... »
Laurent Ruquier (Vu à la radio)


#30519
« Sunday, it was the day of the skates. I didn't: I'm not on the campaign trail! »
Laurent Ruquier (Vu à la radio)


#30520
« I'm not for the legalization of cannabis. As I can easily find... »
Laurent Ruquier (Vu à la radio)


#30521
« The Corsican language is taught in all schools in France, when the teacher says, for example: keep quiet! »
Laurent Ruquier (Je ne vais pas me gêner)


#30522
« With all the crap there is in the diet, fortunately still us drinking to forget to eat. »
Laurent Ruquier (Je ne vais pas me gêner)


#30523
« The Corsicans are not fast and yet they keep saying: and make it snappy! »
Laurent Ruquier (Je ne vais pas me gêner)


#30524
« Brittany waters are not the hottest, but from there to heat oil them regularly! »
Laurent Ruquier (Je ne vais pas me gêner)


#30525
« Justice reform: remember that every man is presumed innocent until he is declared elected. »
Laurent Ruquier (Je ne vais pas me gêner)


#30526
« Politicians, it's like the rillettes, there should be a date limit of sale! »
Laurent Ruquier (Je ne vais pas me gêner)


#30527
« For the November 11 ceremonies, it rains all the time... we should do this in the month of August. »
Laurent Ruquier (Je ne vais pas me gêner)


#30528
« When oil companies fold in half, the Britons stand side. »
Laurent Ruquier (Je ne vais pas me gêner)


#30529
« A mobile phone out of ten is stolen in the year: the attackers are usually motiveless. »
Laurent Ruquier (Je ne vais pas me gêner)


#30530
« The only Japanese word I know, that's coach. »
Laurent Ruquier (Je ne vais pas me gêner)


#30531
« The advantage with the hunters, is that, normally, over the years, they will be less numerous because they kill each other every weekend. »
Laurent Ruquier (Je ne vais pas me gêner)


#30532
« The eve of the feast of the Secretaries, there must be many bosses who said to them: Nicole, tomorrow you will think buy you a bouquet of flowers. »
Laurent Ruquier (Je ne vais pas me gêner)


#30533
« The pitbull is a dog with which we don't have time to send the ball to tell him back arm to Daddy! »
Laurent Ruquier (Je ne vais pas me gêner)


#30534
« Soon repaid Viagra? It's normal, must pay back what was paid. »
Laurent Ruquier (Vu à la radio)


#30535
« Since we contribute for longer and we don't want to not retire later, should be reformed the years by 12 to 15 months... »
Laurent Ruquier (Vu à la radio)


#30536
« Sometimes a working lunch turns into real working lunch. »
Laurent Ruquier (Le tout bon)


#30537
« When you have a dirty car, it's hard to go on his own. »
Laurent Ruquier (Le tout bon)


#30538
« When a jockey is entitled to a bit of chantilly, is that it's the Racecourse. »
Laurent Ruquier (Le Tout bon)


#30539
« The problem with dance classes is that you gotta go at peak hours. »
Laurent Ruquier (Le tout bon)


#30540
« When you give the Goncourt to a writer, is it obligated to read? »
Laurent Ruquier (Le tout bon)


#30541
« Do not get out without a condom... and even less enter... »
Laurent Ruquier (Le tout bon)


#30542
« In theaters, the ushers have a flashlight, if only to check the amount of your tip. »
Laurent Ruquier (Le Tout Bon)


#30543
« Every man is presumed innocent until he is elected. »
Laurent Ruquier (Le tout bon)


#30544
« Fundamentalism: the scarf is a problem in silk. »
Laurent Ruquier (Le tout bon)


#30545
« TV stations prefer to program the dead comedians because they are sure that they will say. »
Laurent Ruquier (Le Tout bon)


#30546
« Abortion, I'm neither for nor against. I say we leave the choice to the child... »
Laurent Ruquier (Je ne vais pas me gêner)


#30547
« Most motorists who phone while driving became very motorists wireless... »
Laurent Ruquier (Je ne vais pas me gêner)


#30548
« The celebration of music, is the party of people who don't care anything the next day! »
Laurent Ruquier (Je ne vais pas me gêner)


#30549
« Monaco, gangsters do not rob banks; they belong to them... »
Laurent Ruquier (Je ne vais pas me gêner)


#30550
« Public transport, is good; except that at peak hours you feel to dance a slow dance with eighty people at the same time! »
Laurent Ruquier (Je ne vais pas me gêner)


#30551
« The administration will now two months to answer the mail of users: officials chose June and November! »
Laurent Ruquier (Le mois par moi)


#30552
« It said that the Corsicans are lazy; That's not true... They are quickly slaughtered, that's all! »
Laurent Ruquier (Il faut savoir changer de certitudes)


#30553
« Now we can be a Senator or a member of eighteen years, and therefore, indicted at nineteen. »
Laurent Ruquier (Il faut savoir changer de certitudes)


#30554
« Retirement at 55: If we grant to all the french the same as drivers, we'll all end up with a calendar of naked chicks. »
Laurent Ruquier (Le Mois par moi)


#30555
« If one is obliged to clone sheep, it is because there is more enough of legionaries. »
Laurent Ruquier (Le mois par moi)


#30556
« TV: the time where the ghosts were waving their chains has been replaced by the time where these are the channels that stir their ghosts. »
Laurent Ruquier (Le Mois par moi)


#30557
« Reduction of working time: for the 35 hours by the year 2000, reassure everyone, it is thirty-five hours per week. This isn't only 35 hours by the year 2000. »
Laurent Ruquier (Le mois par moi)


#30558
« Cloning that's stupid, let do nature: if it does not vacuum under the bed, sheep breed alone! »
Laurent Ruquier (Le Mois par moi)


#30559
« The Assize Court reform provides for the possibility to be sworn at 18: there is no age to start having some trouble! »
Laurent Ruquier (Le mois par moi)


#30560
« A European Summit in the Netherlands, gives you the level... »
Laurent Ruquier (Le mois par moi)


#30561
« The difference between F1 and cycling, is that you can win a Grand Prix with a dysentery, but it will never win the Paris-Roubaix with hemorrhoids! »
Laurent Ruquier (Le mois par moi)


#30562
« A sixty-three year old mother nursing her child. Which is convenient, it is when he cries too much, she drops her hearing aid! »
Laurent Ruquier (Le Mois par moi)


#30563
« The boy bands have their shirt open so we can see their chocolate bar and stretch pants so we can see the nuts! »
Laurent Ruquier (Le Mois par moi)


#30564
« There are fewer Ministers than before and, besides, they are followers of the 35-hour week... I wonder how they're going to get everything done! »
Laurent Ruquier (Le mois par moi)


#30565
« The researcher who developed the sheep clones is finally asleep. »
Laurent Ruquier (Le mois par moi)


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Want to know more about Laurent Ruquier ? Then you should probably take a look over here..

The content of this page was last u p d a t ed on Monday April 12, 2021.
It was then 08:35:32 (Paris time, France, planet Earth - Known Universe).
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