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Seth Messenger : Groucho Marx's quotes

Groucho Marx said :

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Groucho Marx
(Quotes)
#23652
« You are one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen. Which proves nothing else. It is only by comparison! »
Groucho Marx (Copacabana)


#23653
« Love can only be learned in books, because love is a small smart God who flutters, invisible, here, beyond, knock you out, then flees as the first spring swallows. »
Groucho Marx (Mémoires d’un amant lamentable)


#23654
« Wives have their place in a home. They are irreplaceable for the children, and also to keep you in the loop when the neighbour has a new car. »
Groucho Marx (Mémoires d’un amant lamentable)


#23655
« I was born very young. »
Groucho Marx (Les mémoires de Groucho Marx)


#23656
« If a man owns a grocery store or bookstore and he gets sick, he can take someone to replace. If a player is sick, it stops immediately earn money at the time when it is most needed. »
Groucho Marx (Mémoires d’un amant lamentable)


#23657
« If you have talent, he will be one day or the other: no need to hide light under a Lampshade. »
Groucho Marx (Mémoires d’un amant lamentable)


#23658
« The best way to avoid the fall of hair, is to step aside. »
Groucho Marx


#23659
« What be it, I'm against. »
Groucho Marx


#23660
« Marriage and the prospect of a food thought are sometimes do strange things to women. »
Groucho Marx


#23661
« My mother loved children; She would have given anything to pretend I am. »
Groucho Marx


#23662
« It is difficult to be wrong when we made ourselves the questions and answers. »
Groucho Marx


#23663
« If you forget a line, stick a cigar in his mouth and pull it until it comes back to you. »
Groucho Marx


#23664
« The stomach has two uses. It contains your dinner and, what is no less important, is used to hold your pants. »
Groucho Marx (Mémoires d’un amant lamentable)


#23665
« Money is not happiness, and that is absolutely true, but it's a cursed nice thing to have in a home. »
Groucho Marx (Mémoires d’un amant lamentable)


#23666
« Age is not an interesting topic. Anyone can get old. The only thing to do is to live long enough. »
Groucho Marx (Les mémoires de Groucho Marx)


#23667
« With all the crazies who govern us and pollute the atmosphere with lots of radioactive fallout, no one has time to check the accuracy of a quote made by anyone about anything. »
Groucho Marx (Mémoires d’un amant lamentable)


#23668
« -I love you. - is that what you would think if I was poor? - Yes, but I will not tell you! »
Groucho Marx (L’Explorateur en folie)


#23669
« No woman in the world is able to resist a proposal of marriage, was it the worst you idiot. »
Groucho Marx (Mémoires d’un amant lamentable)


#23670
« The top of the skull is apparently the only place where there is no chance to grow hair. »
Groucho Marx (Mémoires d’un amant lamentable)


#23671
« Salmon lives in boxes made of Tin, where it only comes out on Sunday evening when friends arrive unexpectedly. »
Groucho Marx (Mémoires d’un amant lamentable)


#23672
« How can you stop a fat lady to sing when we forgot his submachine gun? »
Groucho Marx (Mémoires d’un amant lamentable)


#23673
« Everyone knows that love budding is a temporary form of insanity, and the only cure is a quick marriage. »
Groucho Marx (Mémoires d’un amant lamentable)


#23674
« In medicine, the mode changes as often as high fashion. The medicine miracle of today will be the deadly poison of tomorrow. »
Groucho Marx (Mémoires d’un amant lamentable)


#23675
« A bit of deprivation is generally the best way to help someone realize the benefits of a soft life. »
Groucho Marx (Sa fille Miriam - 23 Février 1946)


#23676
« Between two people connected emotionally, he cannot be honest criticism. »
Groucho Marx (Sa fille Miriam - 16 Novembre 1945)


#23677
« Get along with others is so vitally important that I do not understand why the University does not real courses in this area. »
Groucho Marx (Sa fille Miriam - 11 Septembre 1945)


#23678
« The man proved to be particularly astute foisting household work to the female. Is not that the work is hard but it is monotonous and boring! »
Groucho Marx (Sa fille Miriam - 23 Février 1946)


#23679
« This isn't really a good idea to leave children alone far away from home because they understand very quickly that they do not need their parents. »
Groucho Marx (Sa fille Miriam - 4 Août 1939)


#23680
« Any woman with a choice between a job on the outside and the household is crazy if she does not flow on the job. »
Groucho Marx (Sa fille Miriam - 23 Février 1946)


#23681
« It is always difficult for a parent to appreciate as it should the value of the efforts made by his children. »
Groucho Marx (Sa fille Miriam - 16 Novembre 1945)


#23682
« The trouble with love is that many people confuse it with gastric embarrassment. When the crisis ends, they discover that they are married to a woman they had not hoped to their worst enemy. »
Groucho Marx


#23683
« The concept of marriage is an aberration. It is impossible that it works, except in the case where it's two men who both love baseball and with separate incomes. »
Groucho Marx


#23684
« Nothing arouses much love of literature to learn that the writer was shoved to jail to have awakened libido of millions... »
Groucho Marx


#23685
« The great wars are those conducted between the sexes rather than between nations. Men and women don't like each other and are only for sexual reasons. Otherwise, men would avoid women like the plague. »
Groucho Marx


#23686
« Do not you stick in the skull that the rheumatism are not interested in love. In most cases, it is precisely by making love they caught rheumatism. »
Groucho Marx


#23687
« I didn't like the play, but I saw her in bad conditions: the curtain was lifted and, in addition, the actors perfectly articulated. »
Groucho Marx


#23688
« Between a woman and a cigar, always I will choose the cigar. »
Groucho Marx


#23689
« Some side effects of human love: the Institute of beauty, the baking soda, the family. »
Groucho Marx


#23690
« The funeral of boy's life meal has a triple purpose: drink more than reason, allow married friends of the future husband to escape their wives for a night and spend a few hours enjoying the impending doom of the poor bastard. »
Groucho Marx


#23691
« The tails, as its name suggests, made you a reputation as a strange bird. »
Groucho Marx


#23692
« Beds, like children, a lot alike when they are twins. »
Groucho Marx


#23693
« Most of the young women are frustrated by overly specific advances. Otherwise, it's that I really lack of luck. »
Groucho Marx (Mémoires d’un amant lamentable)


#23694
« The Amoeba practically has not contributed to the development of love - except for the popular saying: "our Amoeba Amoeba are our Amoeba." »
Groucho Marx


#23695
« I never drink. Unless someone else pays. »
Groucho Marx


#23696
« Pay child support amounts to giving oats to a dead horse. »
Groucho Marx


#23697
« The hell does not contain more fury than a woman scorned. »
Groucho Marx (Mémoires d’un amant lamentable)


#23698
« People don't eat caviar if it was cheap. »
Groucho Marx


#23699
« Your mind wanders. And later you can find better. »
Groucho Marx


#23700
« In each batch of people coming to dinner, it is reasonable to think that half hate you as much as the food. »
Groucho Marx


#23701
« The trouble is that we neglect the football for the benefit of education. »
Groucho Marx (Plume de cheval)


#23702
« If I had to start my life over, I would do the same mistakes... but earlier. »
Groucho Marx


#23703
« Buy a new suit, is already traveling abroad. »
Groucho Marx


#23704
« Either this man is dead, or time has stopped. »
Groucho Marx (A day at the races)


#23705
« Here is not the Ritz. But if it was the Ritz, you would not. »
Groucho Marx


#23706
« I would never belong to a club that would have me for a member. »
Groucho Marx (The Groucho Letters)


#23707
« I would give you well my place, but she's busy. »
Groucho Marx


#23708
« The best way to fall asleep is to imagine that it's time to get up. »
Groucho Marx


#23709
« When your young neighbor sounds at home at midnight because she has lost his key, call the locksmith first? »
Groucho Marx


#23710
« An article is like a woman down: it's good to keep the thread in mind. »
Groucho Marx


#23711
« The recipient of a letter always has a huge advantage on the sender. It can read and destroy in less time than it takes to write it. »
Groucho Marx (Sa fille Miriam - 17 Novembre 1941)


#23712
« Generally, people who talk you about the good old days exceeded 50. »
Groucho Marx (Mémoires d’un amant lamentable)


#23713
« We paid the referee that he declare you a winner; We paid your opponent to let you win. The rest depends on you. »
Groucho Marx


#23714
« Let her believe that she can do what she wants... And then I let. »
Groucho Marx


#23715
« This world would be better for the children if it was the parents who were forced to eat the spinach. »
Groucho Marx


#23716
« An alliance protects only one finger. »
Groucho Marx


#23717
« It is better to give his son the name of a living singer than a dead general. »
Groucho Marx


#23718
« Discretion is my motto. I never say anything. There is nothing written even on my business card. »
Groucho Marx


#23719
« Frozen is a remarkable invention, but that hardly replace a lovely wife who welcomes you into a voracious embrace. »
Groucho Marx


#23720
« Being a grandfather get bored at all. What bothers me is being married to a grandmother. »
Groucho Marx


#23721
« Any man who remarries does not deserve the chance he had lost his first wife. »
Groucho Marx


#23722
« Do not rely on couples who are held by the hand. If they do not let themselves go, it's because they're afraid to kill each other. »
Groucho Marx


#23723
« Outside the dog, the book is man's best friend. Inside, it's too dark to read. »
Groucho Marx


#23724
« Military justice is to justice as military music is to music. »
Groucho Marx


#23725
« Starting from nothing, I got to not much. »
Groucho Marx


#23726
« There is only one way to know if a man is honest... ask him. If he says Yes it is that it is not. »
Groucho Marx


#23727
« I'd offer you a parachute... If I was sure that it does not open! »
Groucho Marx


#23728
« I got married before a judge. I should have asked a jury. »
Groucho Marx


#23729
« I never forget a face, but for you, I'll make an exception. »
Groucho Marx (People I have Loved, Known or Admired)


#23730
« Nobody is entirely dissatisfied by the failure of a friend. »
Groucho Marx


#23731
« When I was in Africa, I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How an elephant did put pajamas... I'll never know! »
Groucho Marx


#23732
« Politics, is the art of asking for trouble to find them, to dump them and then apply unsuitable bad remedies. »
Groucho Marx


#23733
« Why should I care about posterity? Did posterity ever done for me? »
Groucho Marx


#23734
« I want to be cremated and that 10 percent be paid to my agent, as it is written in my contract. »
Groucho Marx


#23735
« There are so many more important things in life than money, but it takes so much money to acquire them. »
Groucho Marx


#23736
« Military intelligence is a contradiction. »
Groucho Marx


#23737
« Make love to his wife, it's like pulling a sleeping duck. »
Groucho Marx (Mémoires d’un amant lamentable)


#23738
« Hollywood: an orange plantation where unemployed actors roam. »
Groucho Marx


#23739
« There is what we can do in a bed and the rest. The rest is not worth much. »
Groucho Marx


#23740
« I think that television is very favorable to culture. Whenever someone turn it on at home, I go into the other room and I read. »
Groucho Marx (Halliwell’s Filmgoer’s Companion)


#23741
« A man is as young as the woman he loves. »
Groucho Marx


#23742
« She had a great nose, she held her father, plastic surgeon. »
Groucho Marx


#23743
« I had a great evening... but it wasn't this one. »
Groucho Marx


#23744
« Men are like other women. »
Groucho Marx


#23745
« We judge a man to the invoices it receives. »
Groucho Marx


#23746
« Watching people walk down the street, we learn to distinguish the men from the women: heads who turn to the windows of the stores are women. There are other means of verification. »
Groucho Marx


#23747
« The temptation of a beautiful woman can cause your loss - if you're lucky. »
Groucho Marx


#23748
« A game show is the lowest form of animal life. »
Groucho Marx


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Want to know more about Groucho Marx ? Then you should probably take a look over here..

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