Seth Messenger : Coluche's quotes

Coluche said :

(Automatic translation)
Coluche
(Quotes)
#1
If I get the chance, I'd rather die in my lifetime!

Coluche
(L’Etudiant - 1980)


#2
Politicians, there, to shine in society, they would eat shoe Polish.

Coluche
(Le Chômeur)


#3
When you see a COP on the street, it's that there's no danger. If there was danger, the COP would not be there.

Coluche
(Y s’foutent bien de notre gueule)


#4
Women are equal to men the day where they will accept to be bald and find this distinguished.

Coluche
(Le Sida - 1986)


#5
I would like to reassure the people who die of hunger in the world: here, we eat for you.

Coluche
(Les Discours en disent long)


#6
There are two kinds of justice: you have the lawyer who is familiar with the law, and the lawyer who knows the judge!

Coluche
(Le Chômeur)


#7
Politician, it's a profession where it is more useful to have relationships than remorseful.

Coluche
(Le Chômeur)


#8
Technocrats, it's the guys that when you ask them a question, once they have finished to answer, you understand more the question that you asked.

Coluche
(L’Etudiant - 1980)


#9
When I was little at home, the harder it was the end of the month... Especially in the last 30 days!

Coluche
(L’Etudiant - 1980)


#10
It is not complicated, in politics, just to have a good conscience, and that to have a bad memory!

Coluche
(Votez nul ! - 1980)


#11
The Chamber of Deputies, half are good for nothing. Others are willing to do anything.

Coluche
(La Politique)


#12
God has said: I share in two, the rich will have food, poor appetite.

Coluche
(Revue de presse - 1980)


#13
I have nothing against foreigners. The problem is that on the one hand, they speak french for most... And according to the country where we're going, they don't speak the same foreign country.

Coluche
(Les Vacances)


#14
A living worth not, whereas we have already. The job there's not much need to leave it to those who like it.

Coluche
(Et vous trouvez ça drôle ?)


#15
Psychiatrists, it is very effective. Me, before, I wet the bed, I was ashamed. I went to see a psychiatrist, I'm cured. Now, I pee in the bed, but I'm proud.

Coluche
(Médecins sans diplômes - 1986)


#16
He must pick the cherries with the tail. I already had trouble with the hand!

Coluche
(Le belge)


#17
In administration, we can't sleep in the office in the morning, otherwise we no longer know what to do in the afternoon.

Coluche
(L’administration)


#18
More is, the less rice.

Coluche
(Les vacances)


#19
An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you.

Coluche
(L’horreur est humaine)


#20
The horror is human.

Coluche
(Y s’foutent bien de notre gueule)


#21
Communism, is one of the only serious diseases that it has not tested on animals.

Coluche
(P.C. G.T. Russie)


#22
It is believed that dreams, it is made to come true. That's the problem of dreams: that's it's done to be dreamed.

Coluche
(L’Horreur est humaine)


#23
It seems that the crisis makes the rich richer and the poor poorer. I don't see how that's a crisis. Since I was little, that's how.

Coluche
(Le Chômeur)


#24
Money does not have the happiness of the poor. What is the least of things.

Coluche
(Misère, misère)


#25
Of all those who have nothing to say, the nicest are those who are silent.

Coluche
(Les Discours en disent long)


#26
If you need anything, call me. I'll tell you how spend you.

Coluche
(L’Etudiant - 1980)


#27
Tennis and table tennis, it's the same. Except tennis, players are standing on the table.

Coluche
(Les vacances)


#28
Drugs killed hundred in France last year, fifty thousand alcohol! Choose your camp, Comrade!

Coluche
(Revue de presse - 1980)


#29
The bigamy is when you have two women; and the monotony, it's when we don't have one!

Coluche
(L'Horreur est humaine)


#30
It's not hard politics as a profession. You're doing five years of law and everything else is wrong.

Coluche
(Votez nul ! - 1980)


#31
There are no frigid women. There is only gossips.

Coluche
(L’Horreur est humaine)


#32
With prefabricated houses, for the credit you can fix what collapses, and after fifteen years the ruins are to you.

Coluche
(Le Syndicat - 1979)


#33
I didn't go anywhere, but I came back from everything.

Coluche
(France-Soir - 2 Octobre 1974)


#34
Team spirit... It's guys who are a team, they have a spirit! Then, they share!

Coluche
(J’ai pas dit ça sur les sportifs - 1977)


#35
In the demonstrations, useless to leave on time, you have to run.

Coluche
(L’étudiant - 1980)


#36
Gains only benefits only after.

Coluche
(Le chômeur)


#37
Sex news: recorded a net tightening of the situation.

Coluche
(Revue de presse - 1980)


#38
The doors of the future are open to those who know how to push them.

Coluche
(Revue de presse - 1980)


#39
Only athletes stop doping... We'll look smart in front of our TVs until they beat records.

Coluche
(J’ai pas dit ça sur les sportifs - 1977)


#40
A neutral country, it is a country that doesn't sell arms to a country at war. Unless he pays cash.

Coluche
(La Politique)


#41
God, it's like the sugar in the warm milk. It is everywhere and it is not... And less we find more we're looking for.

Coluche
(Revue de presse - 1980)


#42
The Government takes care of the job. The Prime Minister is personally responsible for employment. Especially hers.

Coluche
(Le Chômeur)


#43
God has created alcohol for ugly women fuck anyway.

Coluche
(La politesse)


#44
Now learn the french, to know the french.

Coluche
(Revue de presse - 1980)


#45
It's not really my fault that there ' who were hungry, but that it would become if we changed nothing.

Coluche
(Les Restos du coeur)


#46
The future belongs to those who have the veto.

Coluche
(Le chômeur)


#47
A long-term credit, it means you can pay less, more you pay.

Coluche
(Le syndicat - 1979)


#48
These aren't those who run the faster who are the most eager.

Coluche
(Si j’ai bien tout lu Freud - 1980)


#49
"Dick" is a dirty word, even if it's a small.

Coluche
(Si j’ai bien tout lu Freud - 1980)


#50
Instability is necessary for progress. If we stay on the spot, we go back.

Coluche
(L’Horreur est humaine)


#51
There are people who have children because they do not have the means to afford a dog.

Coluche
(Et vous trouvez ça drôle ?)


#52
Actor? A nerdy profession where one spends most of his time doing service as if you asked a driver to repair his plane in case of damage.

Coluche
(Le Journal du dimanche - 13 Mars 1983)


#53
The Cardinals, they put small red circles on the head, it's to not lose them in the squares!

Coluche
(Les papes : Jean-Paul II et Jean retiens I)


#54
You can always find more stupid than supporters: y'a sportsmen. Because the supporters, they sit: the others, they run!

Coluche
(J’ai pas dit ça sur les sportifs - 1977)


#55
France, as it is, it's no worse than if it was worse!

Coluche
(Moi ça va !)


#56
An Arab charged with official corruption. He had given a sugar to a police dog!

Coluche
(Revue de presse - 1980)


#57
My psychiatrist, for fifteen thousand francs, he RID me of what I had: fifteen thousand francs.

Coluche
(Médecins sans diplômes - 1986)


#58
Camping camps, this is something! It's something that stinks, which costs money, where people crowd by pleasure and if tomorrow they were forced to go, they gueuleraient as ever!

Coluche
(On a pas eu d’bol - 1977)


#59
I'm neither for, nor against, on the contrary.

Coluche
(Votez nul ! - 1980)


#60
In life, there ' has no major, y' has no small. The right length for legs, is when the feet touch the ground.

Coluche
(L’Etudiant - 1980)


#61
Athletes, the time they spend running, they take not to wonder why they are running. Then, after it is surprising that they are so stupid on arrival to departure!

Coluche
(J’ai pas dit ça sur les sportifs - 1977)


#62
Artichokes, it is a real dish of poor. It's the only dish when you're done eating, you have more on your plate than when you started!

Coluche
(L’Etudiant - 1980)


#63
Start the revolution without us. We prefer to be stupid and alive than dead and full of ideas.

Coluche
(Source inconnue)


#64
Social security, everything is insured. Except the clock. That, we won't steal, staff has the eyes constantly fixed on it.

Coluche
(L’administration)


#65
Have to laugh every 4 seconds. If you let go 8 seconds, it's called an effect. If you let 12 seconds, it's called a flop.

Coluche
(France-Soir - 2 Octobre 1974)


#66
The police, it is a haven for alcoholics that it did not want the SNCF and the PTT.

Coluche
(Le flic)


#67
For that there is the unemployment somewhere, must already have work. In France, there are two, only when there is work, workers complain about work.

Coluche
(Je me marre - 1974)


#68
It's been a soldier who dies in his bed? A less!

Coluche
(Revue de presse - 1980)


#69
The difference there is between the birds and the politicians, but from time to time the birds stop flying!

Coluche
(Y s’foutent bien de notre gueule)


#70
There are still fewer foreigners than racists in France.

Coluche
(C’est l’histoire d’un mec... sur le pont de l’Alma)


#71
Cancer, at the price that it costs, not even sure to die healed.

Coluche
(Le cancer du bras droit - 1976)


#72
The toadstool, is found in the cars.

Coluche
(Médecins sans diplômes - 1986)


#73
As long as we do laugh, it's jokes. As soon as it's not funny, it's insults.

Coluche
(L’Horreur est humaine)


#74
A good political speech must only ideas with which everyone is in agreement before!

Coluche
(La Politique)


#75
In an egg, there ' a white and yellow. Well more we mix, the more there is of the yellow!

Coluche
(Les vacances)


#76
To criticize people one must know, and to know them, love them.

Coluche
(France-Soir - 7 Novembre 1975)


#77
The criticism is a parasite of the company which has no influence! Critics are old fools, unable to do another job so that the majority of artists on the return might very well become critical!

Coluche
(France-Soir - 1977)


#78
Sometimes we have more contact with a poor dog with a rich man.

Coluche
(Misère, misère)


#79
Capitalism is the exploitation of man by man! Trade unionism, it's the opposite.

Coluche
(Le syndicat - 1979)


#80
Intelligence in humans, anyway, he always feels to have enough, as it is with what he considers!

Coluche
(Les Militaires)


#81
Be Faineanttu live happy

Coluche
(Sois fainéant)


#82
I am capable of the best and the worst. But, in the worst, it's me the best.

Coluche
(P.C. G.T. Russie)


#83
Reviled or who's up.

Coluche
(Les inoubliables)


#84
The reason for the bed is always the best.

Coluche
(La pute - 1986)


#85
On TV they say every day: three million people who want to work. That's not true: money would just them.

Coluche
(Le Chômeur)


#86
When you see the sadness of the biknites, we understand why it is forbidden the hackique and say than wine, it should be mandatory.

Coluche
(Je me marre - 1974)


#87
Death... If we're hit, we'd better laugh. and if we're not affected, there is no reason to not laugh.

Coluche
(L’Horreur est humaine)


#88
Ideas, everyone got the same. What is needed is to use.

Coluche
(L’horreur est humaine)


#89
The peace keepers, rather than keep it, they better fuck us!

Coluche
(Les militaires)


#90
Y' is something we're sure when you're Minister, it is that we return to school, while in prison, must see!

Coluche
(La politique)


#91
God said, there will be white men, black men, there will be big men, short men. There are handsome men, ugly and all men will be equal, but it will not be easy.

Coluche
(Le Blouson noir)


#92
If journalists were the funambules, there is a high mortality in the profession.

Coluche
(Pensées et anecdotes)


#93
It's really expensive studies! And yet, I was careful. I was one of those who studied the least.

Coluche
(L’Etudiant - 1980)


#94
Marriage, trust there is not. We need witnesses, as in accidents.

Coluche
(Pensées et anecdotes)


#95
An actor, it's a job that you learn from your own. It has a name of disease: egocentrism.

Coluche
(L’Horreur est humaine)


#96
The Council claims, it's Wednesday, the day of the kids. They go to the sand, they make pasta, it's nice. The guard of the buckets is there.

Coluche
(Et vous trouvez ça drôle ?)


#97
Papomobile: registered design. A Pope over, sixteen valve underneath.

Coluche
(Pensées et anecdotes)


#98
I always thought that it had to be big to be successful! In France, only fat people are funny.

Coluche
(Pensées et anecdotes)


#99
Somewhere there is a poetry of stupidity.

Coluche
(Pensées et anecdotes)


#100
It changes your life, to be featured. A lot. Only friends you have not less, but more enemies.

Coluche
(Pensées et anecdotes)


#101
Success, it makes modest when you're not being stupid. And thanks to him, you meet a lot of gifted children entering ever.

Coluche
(Pensées et anecdotes)


#102
A bad musician, to at least five years of studies. While to make a bad actor, it takes just ten minutes.

Coluche
(L’horreur est humaine)


#103
When you do a flop, everybody knows why, when you do a success, nobody knows why.

Coluche
(Pensées et anecdotes)


#104
The right won the elections. The left won the election. What is once the France that wins the election?

Coluche
(L’Horreur est humaine)


#105
Politics is like flirting: If we want to go further, get closer.

Coluche
(Votez nul ! - 1980)


#106
If the theatre had to impress upon people the reality of stupidity, Molière happened there before us.

Coluche
(Pensées et anecdotes)


#107
Is there life after death? Only Jesus could answer this question. Unfortunately he died.

Coluche
(Pensées et Anecdotes)


#108
How many there are of people who work in social security? One in four.

Coluche
(L’administration)


#109
To deal with his past, is to risk falling into oblivion.

Coluche
(L’Horreur est humaine)


#110
Counting all the gods, demigods, quarters of gods... There have been 62 million gods since the beginnings of humanity! So, guys who think that theirs is the only good...

Coluche
(Pensées et anecdotes)


#111
The misery of the world isn't human dimension.

Coluche
(Pensées et anecdotes)


#112
The popularity is like perfume. A little, it's nice. Should not fall into the jar, otherwise it becomes a smell. We carry around everywhere.

Coluche
(Pensées et anecdotes)


#113
The art of the comic, it's give the impression you do anything when we worked 10 hours on a mimicry or a sentence.

Coluche
(Pensées et anecdotes)


#114
Humour has always been against the power, regardless of the regime.

Coluche
(Télé 7 Jours - 20 Novembre 1971)


#115
Politicians, I call it stamps. From the front, they smile at you, they're frozen. But if ever you spend them hand in the back, so there, it fits!

Coluche
(L’Horreur est humaine)


#116
If a man sees the opportunity and he can't catch him, it really is a fool.

Coluche
(Le livre du souvenir)


#117
You have foreigners coming to France as a Sweeper, and after they remain as black!

Coluche
(L’Horreur est humaine)


#118
Life is over when you surprise more person.

Coluche
(Le Livre du souvenir)


#119
All of the words in "al" make their plural in "to the". For example: a retro of the anal. Except in the case of a young married. Because, for a bride, we a so-called a keychain and two filthy holes.

Coluche
(L'Horreur est humaine)


#120
That there are serious things that are funny. As soon as a guy says something serious, we can already make fun of his mouth.

Coluche
(Pensées et anecdotes)


#121
Some have an honest, but when they shake hands with you, you better count your fingers.

Coluche
(Coluche 1 faux)


#122
The hardest for politicians, is to have the memory to remember what not to say.

Coluche
(Coluche 1 faux)


#123
In Scotland, a man was arrested for indecency... because he entered to the front with his kilt.

Coluche
(Coluche 1 faux)


#124
Ladies, a Council. If you are looking for a beautiful, rich and intelligent man... take three!

Coluche
(Coluche 1 faux)


#125
Why God invented the Catholics? So there is still buying the retail...

Coluche
(Coluche 1 faux)


#126
Do you know the three most important Jewish holidays? The Yom-Kippur, Roshanna and ready-to-wear show.

Coluche
(Pensées et anecdotes)


#127
Attention to overwork. And especially when you aren't watching anything, remember to remove your glasses!

Coluche
(Coluche 1 faux)


#128
When you fall asleep the butt scratching, you wake up with fingers that stink.

Coluche
(Coluche 1 faux)


#129
Me, I fucked a woman... I gave a date, and I did not go!

Coluche
(Coluche 1 faux)


#130
The song is an industry because a handful of fools has managed to be less stupid than the rest!

Coluche
(Misère, misère)


#131
Having air con may be useful, but it be really would be easier.

Coluche
(J'suis l'andouille qui fait l'imbécile)


#132
We have politicians that the world envies us... they could come and get them, but they do not!

Coluche
(En politique, on est achement baleze)


#133
It's pretty, progress? Tomorrow, when a book will be offered to a kid, it the turn in all directions to see where to put the batteries.

Coluche
(L'almanach, Cherche Midi éditeur)


#134
It's pretty Brittany, and then it's not far from the France.

Coluche
(Source inconnue)


#37688
Just because many are wrong doesn't mean they're right.

Coluche
(Source inconnue)


Want to know more about Coluche ? Then you should probably take a look over here..
The content of this page was last u p d a t ed on Saturday January 7, 2023.
It was then 17:25:38 (Paris time, France, planet Earth - Known Universe).
mandarin : 你的预感 | french : Mon Ange | english : My angel | mandarin : 拉兰德 | spanish : Una corazonada de ti | german : Neuigkeiten hinter der Scheibe. | english : To the wrath of the righteous | french : Une intuition de toi | french : Qui est Seth Messenger ? | mandarin : 正义的愤怒 | english : You would like to read more? | french : Mon nom est Pierre | french : Patience | english : A hunch of you | english : The Wait | german : Wer ist Seth Messenger? | german : Mein Engel | english : New beginning | german : Die Lande | spanish : Mi nombre es Peter | german : Auf die Wut des Gerechten | spanish : La Lande | french : Aux colères du juste | spanish : ¿Quién es Seth Messenger? | english : My name is Pierre | mandarin : 来自玻璃后面的消息 | spanish : Va a pasar cerca de ti. | french : Ca arrivera près de chez vous | spanish : Nuevo comienzo | german : Neuer Anfang | english : Who is Seth Messenger? | mandarin : 耐心 | english : The Moor | german : Geduld | spanish : Paciencia | english : It's going to happen near you | mandarin : 我的天使 | french : La Lande | spanish : A la ira de los justos | mandarin : 我叫彼得 | spanish : Noticias desde detrás del cristal | english : News from behind the glass | mandarin : 你想多读些吗? | german : Mein Name ist Pierre. | german : Möchten Sie mehr lesen? | french : Nouveau départ | spanish : Mi ángel | french : Vous aimeriez en lire d'avantage ? | german : Es wird in Ihrer Nähe passieren. | mandarin : 赛斯信使是谁? | french : Des nouvelles de derrière la vitre | spanish : ¿Le gustaría leer más? | german : Eine Ahnung von dir | mandarin : 它会发生在你附近。 | mandarin : 新开始 |
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